Recognizing discord.
Ancorio is a culmination of my life’s work and I hope that, by sharing how it came to be, you will realize that this is not just another coaching company.
It’s a mission to help people find their confidence so they can define success for themselves, live life on their own terms, and ultimately find peace in knowing that their professional success can be achieved without sacrificing one’s self or health.
The path leading to where I am today has been far from linear! I started in mechanical engineering…dabbled in research and academia…then I discovered that psychology was, and continues to be, my true passion. However, even how I apply psychology in my work continues to grow and evolve.
Somehow, as I made my way through the journey from childhood to adulthood, I never recognized the signs of discord. Everything I was going through was “normal”.
I grew up before the boom of social media, but there were still plenty of ways comparison traps consumed me. Oh those traps! Somehow, everyone else was always doing so well or had everything and I always felt I was somehow lacking.
This feeling was reinforced in school in that we must do well on the material but, more importantly, in comparison to our peers. Somehow, an “A” just didn’t feel as great when you knew everyone else had gotten one too.
While I knew I had qualities that would allow me to succeed, somehow I focused more on how I was doing in comparison to others and less on what mattered most to me. This led to a vicious cycle of chasing after academic accomplishments, jobs, and other signs of success only to feel completely disappointed.
I had to find a way to connect my passion, knowledge and experience to create the true change I felt called to make.
Once I realized that I was focusing too much energy on “keeping up”, I had to deeply reflect to figure out what I actually wanted. At the time, this led me to realize that growing my group practice was not in alignment with what I wanted. Instead, with each new hire, there was more paperwork, oversight, and not enough time focused on what I loved the most – working with my clients and having personal free time.
During the time my business was booming, my personal life was non-existent. Not only that, but my mother was battling early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. While I made sure I was available to take her to doctor appointments, she lived in WI so my ability to regularly visit was limited due to the demands of my schedule. I did not know how much time I had with her, but I knew I needed to find more of it.
I really had to reflect on what mattered most: growing a business that was completely consuming me or focusing on myself and all that mattered most to me.
How I found peace.
The pivotal moment in my life was realizing that I kept looking for the next accomplishment, material object, or person to make me feel content when all I ever really needed to do was look within myself. I realized that I had spent too much time focused on what I was going to do or achieve and not why. (Ironically, I only recently read Simon Sinek’s book Start With Why and it reinforced this realization and expanded it in ways I never thought possible.)
This clarity provided all the permission I needed to live life on my own terms. This meant changing my work hours, shuffling my budget around to spend now and not just invest in the future, and realizing my uniqueness is not a flaw.
Just when I felt like I was hitting my stride on all fronts – I scaled back my business, joined networks that were encouraging and supportive, and was accepted into the Goldman Sachs 10000 Small Business program – the world was rocked by COVID.
Soon after came what I feared most: My mom passed away. She was only 61 and had spent her entire life working hard and caring for others, but she never got to do so many of the things she wanted because they were all “one day” or “after I retire”.
In my grief, I did what I knew how to do best – I got back to work. I convinced myself all was fine and I just needed to keep pushing on. Then, one day, it hit me. I needed time to heal and truly reconnect with myself. Not just the superficial changes to my schedule or spending, but transformative change.
This led my journey toward hiking and using the power of nature to help me disconnect from the world and reconnect with myself. It was glorious!
With just myself, my thoughts, and my grief, I pondered everything! What was the meaning of my life? Was I living in accordance with my values? What were my values?
These questions and soooooo many more led to me realizing that the missing piece in my life was finding a way to align the professional work I loved doing while maintaining my personal freedom. It also meant shifting the focus of my work to helping clients realize that when life is in alignment, a true sense of peace can be achieved. From there, Ancorio was born.
Why have I decided to share my story?
In many ways I wish I could write a piece about how I have everything figured out and there is a quick and easy solution for you too. That is not reality! However, there is a solution. You just have to commit to wholeheartedly invest in your personal growth first.
Focusing on yourself is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
My goal in sharing my story is neither for pity nor bragging – depending on how you conceptualize what I am sharing. No, my sole aim is to help you understand my purpose for doing what I do.
I have been so fortunate to find what I truly love doing and a way to do this work without sacrificing myself! Now, my aim in life is to combine my passion, knowledge and experience to help ambitious professionals who feel lost, burnt out, and generally unsure achieve their ultimate success story.
You can find peace too.
Whatever difficulty(ies) you may be facing, please know that you too can find peace!
Peace means different things to different people, but my wish for you is to:
- Gain clarity about your innate strengths, values, and motivations to confidently guide you in all that you do.
- Create a plan for how you will bridge the gap between where you are starting and where you hope to go; no more wishful thinking or “some day”.
- Clearly define and conquer goals while celebrating wins along the way, not just waiting for the final outcome. It’s time to make things happen!
- Continue this process so you can both feel content with where you are and maintain what you’ve achieved while still striving to learn and grow in new ways.
I noticed trends in the clients I was working with. Many reported continuing to push for success without really knowing what that meant. This led to more chasing without ever knowing what it would mean or feel like to “arrive”. Feeling unsure, insecure, and stuck. Constantly questioning themselves, their abilities, and how to achieve that elusive concept of success.
My aim for helping you find peace is to align all the parts of life you are dealing with – professionally and personally. I will help you conquer whatever is preventing you from achieving your professional goals, but never at the expense of your wellbeing.
In Sum
I shared with you a bit about my past – events, beliefs, and revelations – that have led to a newfound clarity and the peace that came with it. For many, a sense of peace can feel elusive and, perhaps, not even what you thought you were after. However, I encourage you to envision what would be different in your life if you found a sense of peace. I would love to hear your thoughts! Be sure to share them in the comments below.
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